Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday. It always has been. Typically when I tell people this, they assume that I’m one of those people that is constantly in a relationship. Nope. I’ve only been ‘taken’ for four V Days of my 22 years. The reason I love Valentine’s Day? Because I love Love.
There are so many kinds of love that can be celebrated on February 14th. Familial, Friendly, Self, Spiritual, and so many more other than romantic or sexual. If you don’t have a romantic relationship, who cares? Do something for yourself, have dinner with your family, go catch a movie with your besties, spend some time focusing on your beliefs. There are so many ways to celebrate aside from showering your S.O. with flowers and chocolates.
I’ve decided to point out the flaws in some of the most common Anti-Valentine’s arguments and hopefully convince you to smile and enjoy the day instead of raining on everyone else’s parade.
DISCLAIMER: If you have recently gotten out of a relationship, got dumped on V Day, or have a legitimate reason to dislike the holiday, PLEASE do not continue reading. Not an ounce of this is about you. You heal however you need to and get back to your happiness. Don’t let today get you down. You focus on your needs first. You don’t owe anyone anything until you are okay again. You exist, and that is all that the world can ask of you.
Argument #1: “You should treat them that way every day of the year!”
-If you feel this way about Valentine’s, I’m going to assume you don’t celebrate Mothers/Fathers day, birthdays, anniversaries, or anything about appreciation.
-Sometimes people can’t afford to take their SO out every single day, to surprise them with flowers every week, or to buy them cheesy stuffed animals all the time. What’s wrong with having one day to save up for and just fill it with smiles for the one that you love?
-Sometimes it’s nice to just have a set aside day to dress up and eat at a fancy restaurant. What’s wrong with that?
-Why do you hate happiness??!?
Argument #2: “It’s just a commercial holiday invented by greeting card companies to make money!”
-I’m not even going to waste my time with you.
-Google is your friend and if you keep up this Debbie Downer attitude it may be the only friend you have left
-Valentine’s Day can be entirely homemade (that’s how I celebrate it and it’s probably the holiday on which I spend the least amount of money).
-You could just shop at local mom and pop florists, bakeries, and restaurants and hit those companies where it won’t affect them at all because you’re one freaking person while supporting local businesses instead of being bitter and boring and predictable.
Argument #3:”Singles Awareness Day!!”
-OMG JUST SHUT UP AND GET A FREAKIN LIFE ALREADY
-SERIOUSLY THIS IS THE DAY I UNFRIEND AT LEAST TEN PEOPLE ON FB A YEAR
-The second this phrase leaves your lips unironically, everyone knows you are too preoccupied with what people think of you and that you need to become less self-centered and enjoy your life because because baby you are pathetic
– I honestly don’t care if I’m hurting anyone’s feelings anymore because at this point you’re begging for a punch to the face
– Instead of letting the world around you decide how you feel about your life, take that power away from them and focus on what makes YOU happy today. TA DA you’re no longer focusing on being single, you’re focused on what an awesome life you could have if you just acted this this all the time. Call it Self-Love Day if you need to, for Pete’s sake.
Argument #4: “It sets impossible standards!!”
-If this is true for your relationship, then you need to have a serious talk with your SO and decide what you’re going to do for the holiday, if anything at all. If you want a stress free day, do this in advance. Periodically refresh each other on what you’re going to do, whether it be something like dinner and a movie or only handmade gifts or a $20 limit, so that one of you doesn’t get your hopes up for a big surprise or romantic gesture. This will only be bad for your relationship if you let the hype control how you celebrate.
– Seriously, this is the easiest thing to avoid.
– If you have done all this and your SO is still disappointed that you didn’t rent out a restaurant and fill it with roses and propose with a 100 karat ring, you either need to talk it out and find the reasons why they had this expectation and how to fix it, or see if it’s something you can’t move past and if that’s a deal breaker or not. This is something that can make or break a relationship and it should be taken seriously.
Argument #5: “The world expects you to have a good Valentine’s story about how you celebrated it!”
-YOU DON’T OWE THE WORLD ANYTHING
-THE WORLD CAN SUCK IT BECAUSE YOU DO WHAT MAKES YOU AND YOUR SO HAPPY THAT DAY
-WHO THE FRICK FRACK CARES AS LONG AS YOU DID SOMETHING FOR EACH OTHER THEN OTHERS WILL BE HAPPY FOR YOU
-IF THEY ARE NOT, CUT THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE BECAUSE THAT IS SOME SHADY BEHAVIOR IF EVER I HEARD OF SOME
-IF YOU ARE CELEBRATING FOR THE SAKE OF A STORY OR BRAGGING RIGHTS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT THEN YOU DO NOT DESERVE A RELATIONSHIP YOU DESERVE A QUICK TRIP TO CHURCH BECAUSE YOU ARE WAY TOO SELF-CENTERED AND AWFUL TO DESERVE ANY KIND OF GENUINE EFFORT TODAY SERIOUSLY THAT IS MESSED UP AND YOU NEED TO GO HOME AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE
Argument #6: “My SO is being really awful today/lately and I just don’t feel like celebrating it.”
-You do not have to celebrate it if it is not genuine.
-If you don’t feel like putting in the effort because you don’t think they’ve earned it or you aren’t in a great place right now, please please PLEASE talk this out with your SO because you may have a more seriously problem in your relationship than a holiday.
-Important: VALENTINE’S DAY IS ABOUT GENUINE ACTS OF LOVE. IF YOU DO NOT FEEL LIKE IT, DO NOT FORCE YOURSELF TO PRETEND. THIS HURTS EVERYONE INVOLVED.
-Seriously, I have had an ex tell me that he was trying to feel something for me and that just made me feel like a bag of tears and I doubt I will ever be 100% how that felt to hear. Please only be sincere. Do. Not. Force. Emotion. You could give them a complex that haunts all relationships to come.
Argument #7: “Cupid is so creepy!”
-I 100% agree with you
-Can we just ban the baby with wings and arrows?
-Nominations for new V Day Mascots starting now
Overall, Valentine’s is completely what you make of it. If you want to spend the day as a bitter cynic, stuffing your face, crying, and making everyone else uncomfortable, go for it. Just don’t start asking the universe why you’re single because your inability to let one single freaking holiday go by without hating yourself is a great place to start finding faults.
Okay, that might have been a little mean. But at the same time, maybe you need some #realtalk.